Not Like This
by weetziebat05
Summary: When Bella jumped off the cliff, Alice didn't see anything, and Jacob didn't make it back to the beach in time to pull her out of the sea when he did. What happens to Bella when no one is there to save her? Ch 12 now up! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Not Like This**

A/N: Well... got the idea reading the book, of course. New Moon spoilers! You have been warned. I don't own anything... but I do wish I owned Edward... sigh R&R!

…_And I flung myself off the cliff._

_I was proud of myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't had one moment of terror—just pure adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all. Where was the challenge?_

_That was when the current caught me._

"Oh no, no, no," I moaned, buffeted around by the strong currents and angry sea. The waves tossed me around indiscriminately as I tried to keep my head above water, gasping for air and getting mouthfuls of salt water instead. Panic swelled inside me like a huge, black bubble—I never meant to die! I only meant to get an adrenaline rush out of this!

Desperately, I flailed arms and legs in every direction, wishing I'd jumped when the sun was out so that I could at least tell where the shore was, and how far out the currents had taken me. My arms and legs tired out quickly, and I started to wonder if I'd wash ashore if I just floated along and quit struggling.

"Keep swimming!" My eyes closed reverently, savoring Edward's hallucinated voice. "Move! Bella, move! Swim!"

The water was so cold, and the rain so thick, that swimming was the last thing on my mind. Dazed, I forced myself to go through the motions as the clichéd rerun of my life started—only, all I saw was Edward. His perfect face, his chiseled features and strong, comforting arms, his skin sparkling like a million perfect diamonds in a shaft of bright sunlight… all in perfect clarity as the relentless currents threatened to dash my brains out on the rocks surrounding the cliffs. I managed to keep my head clear, although I cut my hands a few times in my efforts. Why, why, _why_ did I think this was a good idea again?

A flash of fiery orange came into view as Edward ordered me to keep fighting, a strange urgency in his voice. "Fight, Bella; damn it! Keep swimming!"

The orange spot came closer and as my head broke the surface of the water and I took a huge breath of air my heart, which had been thumping wildly, stuttered.

A malicious pale face smirked at me with burning black eyes, rimmed in red.

Victoria had come back for me.

"BELLA! NO!" The torturous voice in my head screamed at the same time I did, the same time Victoria threw back her head and let out a triumphant howl. Her eyes darkened even further as I threw my hands up in self-defense and she saw the ragged wounds still bleeding sluggishly.

With an otherworldly screech, Victoria closed the distance between us and grabbed my outstretched wrist with inhuman strength, snapping it as her fingers tightened their icy grip. I screamed, my eyes wide, as she bared her teeth and savagely chomped on my arm, yanking me closer to her. Her hair was plastered to her ashen face, but it only made her look even more beautiful—and even deadlier.

Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as she bit again, her eyes boring into mine as she reveled in my pain. Something solid and furry brushed past my legs in the water, and suddenly Victoria screeched again and let go of me. My vision was clouded with black spots as Edward's voice faded in and out, like it was coming from a static-filled radio.

Two strong, impossibly warm arms circled around me, dragging me backwards. I tried to keep my eyes open, but they only barely listened. I heard horrible shrieks and snarls, terrible ripping noises, and occasionally a yelp of pain.

Roughly, I landed on solid shore and something thumped against my chest. Torrents of icy seawater spewed out of my mouth and I coughed and choked around it, my lungs burning as they became clear.

That was when the pain started.

I started to shake, before my ravaged throat finally opened up and I screamed. "Fire! Fire, on my arm! Put it out, put it out!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's screaming about fire—you don't think the leech bit her, do you?"

"Check it—check her arm! What is that?"

"Holy—those are teeth marks; she's been bitten!"

I sensed a flurry of movement around me as my nerves blazed and burned. There was only one other time I'd felt this pain—my eyes flew open in shock, chasing away the edges of unconsciousness. I recognized Jacob's and Quil's faces, and I reached out desperately with the uninjured arm, grabbing a handful of Jake's shorts.

"Suck it out! The venom! Get it out!" I begged, tugging on his thankfully-secured shorts. He smoothed my hair away from my face, his face a frozen mask of pain.

"We can't, Bella. I'm so sorry… werewolf saliva will only make the venom thinner, and it'll spread faster. I can try, but I doubt it'll do anything," he whispered, his voice breaking.

My back arched spontaneously from the pain, and I could feel weight on my legs and other arm, keeping them from thrashing around and hurting the broken wrist any more. I took my free arm and clawed at my bitten one, feeling the fire-like sensation spread. Yes, I wanted to be a vampire, but not like this! Never like this! Edward was supposed to be the one to turn me! Another agonized cry ripped free from my throat as the venom traveled up to my shoulder.

"Shit! I can't just sit here!" Something uncomfortably warm with teeth too similar to Victoria's latched onto on of her bites and I screamed again as the storm's wind howled along with me. As I struggled against the werewolves holding me down, I saw Jacob trying to suck out the venom with a disgusted look on his face.

"It's okay, Bella; you're safe with us," Quil said soothingly, brushing my damp hair away from my face. I could feel my eyes getting gummy from the copious tears streaming down my face, and Quil tenderly wiped them with a corner of what used to be someone's shirt. "It's alright, we'll take care of you… Don't be frightened; we have to burn Victoria so she won't regenerate."

A sudden flash of heat startled me, choking off my next cry. _That must be the fire,_ I thought to myself. With a sense of dread, I realized I could see things in better clarity than ever before, even though Jake was still trying to suck the venom out. The fire had subsided, but I could only guess that since he wasn't able to get it all out, there was still enough to force me to change. My skin, even my _hair_ felt as though it was on fire, and I had long given up screaming, since my throat was so dry and abused I just physically couldn't do it anymore.

"I can still taste it… We need a leech. Sam, we need to find a bloodsucker to get the rest of this out. I can't do it; the taste isn't as strong but she's not feeling any better," I heard Jake say. I cracked an eye open and saw him look at me, frightened, and look at Sam Uley, the alpha of the werewolf pack.

I kept struggling against the guys holding me down as the venom snaked through my veins. I hoped Alice had seen this… was anyone on their way? Or would I have to change?

Exhausted, I fell asleep as the men wondered what to do with me.


	2. Miracle of Morphine

**Miracle of Morphine**

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy, R&R!_

"Bella! Bella, thank goodness you haven't changed! We have to get you to Carlisle," a familiar voice whispered. I turned towards it, limbs shaking against the restraints the hospital had put me in, too scared to hope.

Alice! She flew to my side, her eyes round and worried, and placed a heavenly chilly hand on my forehead.

"Alice… help…" I tried to say, but my voice was barely a whisper.

"I've already called Edward; he's on his way here. His plane should land early tomorrow morning," she informed me, her eyes darting back and forth.

"Wait… where were you?" I asked thickly.

"We were in Denali. Edward was in South America," she added before I could ask, not meeting my eyes. "Carlisle should be here in the morning—try and rest, Bella. I wish I could get the venom out for you, but he's really much better,"

With that, Alice put her refreshingly cool hands on my burning face. Slightly soothed, I fell asleep again as the venom's pain dulled to a throb.

Man, I love morphine.

I woke up several hours later instantly, as though someone had doused me in water. I looked around in the dim light, panic swelling as I realized my vision was even better than before. I heard Carlisle come in, talking quietly to Alice, and I was surprised to note I could hear them as clearly as if they were talking to me.

"I couldn't do it; I was scared I might not be able to make myself stop!" I heard Alice say. I could imagine her pacing back and forth, wringing her hands, her perfect face scrunched with worry.

"Shh, Alice, it's not your fault," Carlisle whispered. "If anything, it was the werewolves. The venom had been thinned, and now her change is occurring a little faster than it should be, considering how much venom Victoria managed to inject."

"Isn't there anything we can do? I doubt this is how she wanted to change," Alice answered dubiously.

Carlisle sighed, and I felt the air shift slightly with my ridiculously heightened senses. "Not really—all we can do is make her more comfortable until she completes the change, and get her used to feeding on animals when her first bloodlust hits."

I couldn't help myself—I whimpered, and both vampires were next to me in a flash, their eyes full of concern.

"Did you hear us?" Alice asked quietly. I nodded, my limbs shaking still from the venom, and she and Carlisle exchanged a look.

"I didn't notice hearing changes until the second day," Carlisle whispered in something close to awe. "

I bit my lip, trying to save my throat the agony of mindless screaming. "I—I can see better," I whispered, noticing for the first time my surroundings—Carlisle had managed to wheedle me out of the hospital. I was in Jasper's room, strapped to what looked like a thick slab of metal. Maybe this was what the Cullens had to strap every to during their change… Suddenly, I didn't want to ask. Carlisle and Alice had exchanged a worried look that made me feel sick to my stomach. My frantic heart started beating even faster.

"Bella… There's nothing we can do, but allow the venom to finish. This is happening faster than it should," Alice said quietly. "Your senses should start really sharpening in a few hours, if the rest of your change is anything to go by—Carlisle thinks that if you are going to have any sort of extra gift, it should show up around the time Edward should be here,"

Edward!

Even thinking his name was like a strong balm, taking the edge off of the pain. "Charlie?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Your friend got to him first. He knows you almost drowned and that you were hurt," Carlisle said, indicating my immobilized wrist. "We told him you contracted a disease through the open wounds, and we moved you after saying we could try better here—I fooled the hospital into thinking I brought cutting-edge medicine and small equipment from L.A. before I head back out there again," He sighed, looking ten years—human years, mind—older. "One way or another, we will have to fake your death. You won't be able to visit your family for up to a year after the change, because of the strength you will possess, and the bloodlust you will have to learn to control. I… I'm so sorry, Bella; I wish there was another way but the venom's too thin and too widespread by now to do anything else, and we don't have the convenience of college as an excuse for you to stay away from your family for so long,"

I started to shake, and Carlisle quickly injected more morphine into my arm as I tried not to be too squeamish about the needle going into my arm. I was shaking from fear, but the morphine was welcome anyway. I fell straight to sleep again, thinking of Edward amidst the pain.

"Oh, Bella… It wasn't supposed to be like this," I heard early the next morning. I cracked my dry eyes open and nearly wept with relief to see Edward sitting beside me. His eyes were so full of sorrow I thought my heart would break—I realized with a start that I could no longer hear blood rushing in my ears, or feel the pain throbbing in time with my pulse. My heart had stopped beating. Irrationally I wondered if I was dead—as if that were possible, in my new state!

Was the change over?

"Ed…Edward?" I stuttered, surprised at the sound of my voice. It was almost… musical. Not higher or lower, but… It just seemed like I'd perfected my voice and set it to music. It was so odd to hear that coming from me!

He smiled at my hesitancy and surprise. "It takes getting used to," he said wryly. "Looks like you're still the same color," he added teasingly, his light voice at odds with the worried look on his face. "Want to see?"

I nodded, and he undid the restraints holding me down, watching me carefully lest I try to bolt. He motioned me over to a nearby full-length mirror and I followed.

I didn't trip once.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and I faced the mirror. I cracked one eye open and my jaw fell in surprise.

_That_ would take getting used to.


	3. First Hunt

**First Hunt**

_A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are awesome! Now R&R and be more awesome!_

My skin was flawless, despite the minor breakout I'd noticed two days before. I was a few shades paler, though not by much. The lingering baby fat around my face had disappeared, making me look instantly older. My _eyes…_

I needed to feed, I realized as I despaired over the red rimming inky black, and instantly shuddered at the thought of murder—that was a good sign, right?

Edward sidled up behind me and smiled at my wonder. "And I never thought you could be more beautiful," he said as his scent filled my nose, making me feel almost light-headed. Exuberantly, I turned to him and hugged him.

I heard a choking noise. "Bella—relax! Let me breathe!" Edward gasped. Startled, I let go and took a step back. "New vampires are very strong, Bella—go easy on the hugs!"

I chuckled. "So now I have to worry about breaking you instead of you breaking me?" Edward half-glared at me, like I'd called him weak. I remembered the pain I'd been in because of him, and my face darkened angrily. I saw Edward inadvertently take a step back with a twinge of dark pleasure before I scowled and turned away from him. "Maybe that's a good thing, considering I'm not good for you," I spat.

"Oh, Bella..." Edward put a placating hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "Bella, honey, I promise you that was the one and only time I've ever lied to you. I love you," he said beseechingly. I whirled around, my anger flaring.

"Do you know how much pain I was in? I went _months _without happiness because of you! I couldn't leave Forks because I was so scared you would come back while I was gone, or you'd try to finally get in touch with me and at least tell me you were fine, or worse, I'd forget you! Were you _trying_ to cause me so much pain?" I screamed angrily, wincing inwardly as the sound hurt my sensitive ears.

"I… I thought you were better off living a human life," Edward said, standing his ground. "I wasn't trying to hurt you—I was trying to save you from another incident like the one on your birthday!" He wrapped his arms around me gingerly as I stayed still.

I couldn't believe it—oh, how I had waited to hear those words! "You… you _do_ love me?"

Edward smiled, a hint of exasperation in his eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan. Of _course_ I love you. What, you had no trouble believing I was a vampire but believing I love you is a challenge?" I glared at him, and went back to the mirror, admiring myself.

My throat itched. It was a niggling thing at first, easily ignored, but as soon as I took another look at my eyes, it burned like fire, and my stomach cramped—I didn't think that'd be possible—with hunger.

I turned to Edward, terrified. "I'm hungry," I whispered, my hands shaking slightly. I heard l heavy footsteps a few seconds before the door opened. Emmett walked in, with Alice following close behind.

"Grizzly time?" Emmett rumbled jovially. Alice smiled at me widely, making me feel much better—if anything, she would have seen the outcome of my first… er, _hunt_.

Edward nodding, taking my hand. "We need to go very deep into the forest until she gets a handle on her thirst,"

Alice waved away his concerns and bounded over to me, happiness radiating from her. "She'll be fine! Impressive kill," she added to me excitedly, bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet.

Was I the _only _one slightly worried here?

Of course I was.

Alice knew _everything._ That was enough for everyone else.

Twenty minutes later I was running, exhilarated. I could see Edward ahead of me as I followed him and the rest of the Cullens out to a hunting ground. Apparently, it's very hard to turn down a competition when you're a new vamp, so I was doing my best to catch up to Edward (he called me slow!), feeling slightly awkward because of the fact that my heart wasn't pounding, my lungs weren't screaming for air, and I was not tired.

I could get used to this! I could definitely see why Edward loved to run. I instinctively knew where to step—I didn't trip once on any root or get hit by a wayward branch. It was simply amazing.

Suddenly they stopped, and it was so sudden I narrowly avoided crashing into Jasper. I felt the familiar embarrassment, but no heat telling me I was tomato-red.

I could _really _get used to this!

I noticed strange smells as Emmett smiled and licked his lips eagerly. "I smell grizzly," he said excitedly to me, rubbing his giant hands together. Edward's eyes darkened considerably as he turned to me.

"Do you smell that? That's food. Just close your eyes and give in to your senses Bella; instinct will do the rest," Edward said as the family broke into small groups and went their separate ways.

Nervous and shaking, I did what he said, and closed my eyes as I filled my lungs with the scent of bear. My limbs stiffened as I thought of the blood rushing through the animal's veins.

Food.

Without another rational thought, I jumped and impossible height and landed in a tree, peeking out through the branches. I saw my target and instinct prompted me into herding it against a stone wall.

I'm not going to go into specifics, because all I can remember thinking of is how badly I needed food, but I drained the bear dry. My thirst was somewhat satiated, though I really wanted more. Figuring it was a side effect of the recent change, I jumped back into a tree and circled the area, jumping effortlessly from branch to branch without hardly a sound. I could smell something strange, new, delectably mouthwatering, in the breeze. My head clouded—maybe this was mountain lion? Whatever it was, it was bound to be tasty.

I followed the scent for about three miles before dimly noticing an empty campsite with a shabby tent and two sleeping bags. Was there a mountain lion around the area, waiting for the people to come back?

Part of me knew I should leave; I wasn't quite sure I could handle being around humans if they _were_ so irresistible, but this smell was so intoxicating I nixed my thoughts of leaving.

The smell became stronger.

"—And Mark thought I was joking! I told him I wasn't, and he got really upset," I heard. A pretty young woman appeared talking to an older man, both with fishing poles in their hands—they'd just caught dinner, judging by the sky.

I tried to turn away, but couldn't. The smell was so strong, so desirable… I could snap both of their necks so quickly they'd never know what hit them.

I wanted their blood. I _yearned_ for it. The vampiric side of me won over my human side, and I crouched, ready to spring.

I was a deadly weapon, and these people wouldn't even know what hit them.


	4. Change of Plans?

**Change of Plans?**

_A/N: Normally I HATE switching points of view in a story, but I really thought seeing something outside of Bella's POV would provide more clarity and all that. Therefore this chapter is in Alice's POV. R&R!_

Seeing the probable future was never that much of a bother for me, since things normally tend to unfold the way I see them.

When they don't, however, it becomes a burden—especially when I'm in the middle of hunting and a random "vision," so to speak, hits.

It hurts, I registered dimly as I tried to sneak up on a hare—there's not much in them, but they make great appetizers, and you _know_ they reproduce fast enough. The dull throb in my temple become stronger, more insistent, and I gave up ignoring the vision as a bad job and sat down on a mossy rock to let it out.

_Bella killed the bear impressively, wiping her mouth clean almost as an afterthought. The blackness of her eyes had diminished a little, rimming the outside with a curious mixture of red and gold. Her body stiffened, reminding me horribly of the way Jasper had stiffened when Bella cut her finger in front of him. She sped off in a random direction, swinging through the trees with a grace not even Carlisle had—maybe the fates decided they owed her one? My breath caught as I saw her stop and hide near a campsite. Two humans walked into view, and she crouched, ready to attack._

The pain stopped and I was thrust back into reality with a frightening lurch. I heard Edward about two hundred yards away curse softly—did his food put up a harder fight than usual?

"Edward, Emmett, if you can hear me, find me now. Bella is in trouble," I said loud enough for them to hear, pacing and wringing my hands together. Edward appeared a moment later with Emmett on his heels.

"What happened? Where is she?" Edward demanded. "You said she would be fine!"

"Edward, you _know_ what I see isn't absolute! She's heading toward a campsite, and I don't know if she'll be able to hold back!" I answered, hurt. I took off in the direction I remembered Bella running, glancing to my sides to see both men following close behind.

"Wait… she's heading there, or she IS there?" Emmett asked. "If she _is_ there, we have to worry about the treaty with the Quiletes along with her harming a human,"

I shrugged, dodging snaking roots and low overhead branches. "I don't know," I said honestly. "She might already be there for all I know. I heard them talking, and saw her crouch, and that was it."

_Bella, why did you have to run so far?_ I thought, still running towards the campsite. I knew I was heading in the right direction, because I could smell traces of human and I could definitely smell Bella—her scent was all over the leaves, like she'd used the trees instead of simply running to get there.

Rosalie joined us seamlessly, with a disapproving look on her face. "Let me guess—Bella?" she said somewhat sardonically. Edward glared at her, but I understood Rosalie's scorn—she wasn't completely happy being a vampire and resented Bella's wish to become one. I only hoped the enmity Rosalie felt would fade, especially since Bella had been turned against her will.

Esme joined us, following closely on Rosalie's heels. Desperate as another vision of Bella _springing_ on them, I said, "Go, Edward! Go!"

With a grim look on his face, Edward put on an extra burst of speed, leaving us behind by an increasing distance. Emmett growled deeply in his throat and shot off after Edward.

Esme turned to me, her face stricken, as we pushed on deeper into the forest. "She's found a human, hasn't she?" she asked, her feet deftly picking solid ground as she searched my face for hope.

Rosalie looked thoughtful. "Do you think she'll be able to stop herself? _Victoria_ turned her… Do you think that'll impact her willpower? Look at Jasper—he was turned by a human hunter, and even now… You saw what happened on Bella's last birthday!"

I expected to hear a hidden snort of derision—Rosalie was too prideful of the fact she carried a broken, bloody, _human_ Emmett some long distance to Carlisle, ignoring the scent of his blood entirely—but surprisingly, there was nothing but genuine concern. I heard a terrified scream just outside of my hearing range that, were I human, would have made my blood run ice cold.

We glanced at each other, and then ran full-tilt toward the sound. I ran so fast I nearly tripped a few times, which surprised me in its humanity. Esme seemed to be having the same problems I did, but Rosalie was still graceful.

I could hear Emmett and Edward ahead, but their voices were indistinct. They sounded alarmed—what happened?

The sound became louder and louder until abruptly, we were in the clearing. I saw Emmett and Edward holding Bella between them, looking at her warily.

Bella lifted her head and met my eyes.

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to run as far away from Bella as I possibly could.


	5. Regrets

**Regrets**

_A/N: Bit of a delay there... Sorry... Anyway, R&R and make me happy! Happy authors update faster!_

I saw the look in Alice's eyes and went back to staring at the ground. If I were still human, I'd be crying… All I had to show for that, now, was a giant uncomfortable knot in my chest that made it hard to breathe—even though I no longer needed air, my lungs felt like lead when they were deflated in my chest.

"Ed…Edward?" Esme asked tentatively, her hands covering her mouth in shock as her eyes landed on the female camper, face down about six yards away. I glanced up at Esme quickly, then back at the ground—I couldn't stand to see the pain on her perfect face. It was too much.

"Where's the other one?" Alice asked.

Edward gestured in the direction of the fallen camper, whose body was half-hidden by the encroaching brush. "A little farther out that way," he said. His grip tightened on my arm momentarily and for a crazed moment I wished he would get angry already—yell, glare, something! Was he so ashamed he couldn't bear to look at me?

Rosalie was growling. I could hear it rumbling in her chest, and it frightened me—I'd never thought of Rosalie as a true _vampire_ in that I'd never seen her hint at viciousness besides the unnerving glares she used to send my way.

Rosalie darted over to me and slapped me so hard and so quickly I thought I felt my cheekbone splinter as my neck popped loudly and hyper-extended with the force of the hit. I hissed in pain, ducking my head farther. Edward snarled at her half-heartedly, but that was to be expected.

I had nearly undermined everything the Cullens stood for.

"Control yourself, Rosalie," Esme snapped. I didn't say anything; I deserved that and more.

"They're alive," Edward said softly. I heard Alice sigh in relief and shame flooded me once again. "She managed to knock the female down pretty roughly, and raked the man with her nails—superficial cuts only, but he hit his head on a rock when he fell. We should take them both to the hospital, and Bella needs to go home."

Emmett and Alice escorted me back to my new home, gripping one wrist tightly as we ran in tandem while the others took the campers to the hospital.

"We should have you talk with Jasper. He'll know what you're going though," Emmett said when we arrived, his golden eyes soft with sympathy. "How is your cheek? I know from experience Rosalie hits pretty hard," he joked, searching my haunted face for a slight smile.

I shook my head ruefully. "It's fine—I deserved it," I said throatily, my newly-silky hair hiding my face from view. "I can't believe I actually came _so close_ to… to…" My voice faltered. My chest knotted up again and I wished vampires could cry.

Emmett and Alice took me to Edward's room and I collapsed onto the leather couch, my face in my hands. I shuddered as the memory hit me once again, replaying itself over and over and intensifying the horrendous details, mocking me.

_I crouched, ready to spring._

_The woman turned toward the tent and proceeded to put away the fishing rods. Perfect—they were absolutely defenseless now. The breeze wafted their scents to me and the man's was infinitely more appealing. _

_I decided I'd get him first._

_I jumped out from my hiding spot, using the woman as a springboard to complete the jump. The man had turned to run but barely gone anywhere. I reached out, my nails glinting savagely in a shaft of sunlight, and swiped at the man. I raked my nails against the back of his head, knocking him down. He hit his head on a jutting rock with a sickening yet strangely satisfying thud, and I paused for a moment to revel in my victory, my throat itching as I watched the blood trickle out of a would I'd caused._

_Just as I bent down to bite and drain him, Edward appeared out of the brush and tackled me with a terrifying crash. Emmett appeared a fraction of a second later, and the two held me down as I screamed and thrashed, trying to get free._

"_I'M HUNGRY!" I screamed at them. _

"_He's HUMAN, Bella! Do you _want_ to be a murderer?" Emmett roared at me furiously._

_Everything clicked into place, and the vampiric instincts that had driven me to attack left me all at once, making me feel as though, were I human, I would have lost a week's worth of meals._

I closed my eyes in pain, wishing I had the oblivion to sleep as an option.

"It was hard to find her—not only did she use the trees instead of the ground to travel, but it was a faint scent. Well… faint for Bella, anyway; you know her scent is particularly heavy. It was as if… as if she was somehow_ suppressing _her scent. Emmett, I'm scared that, if we weren't so attuned to her, we wouldn't have found her until after it was too late," I heard Alice say. It was clear, but slightly muffled—maybe she was downstairs?

Wait.

I could suppress my scent? My body shuddered at the first implication that came to mind, and I gasped in joy. Maybe… Maybe it_ was_ possible… I would have to test the theory, but I couldn't help but feel relief coupled with happiness bubble up inside of me.

I might be able to stay friends with Jacob.

I resolved to try and call him as soon as I could, and thanked whoever was responsible for being immune to Edward's gift—he would hate the idea, I knew, but I couldn't help but be excited.

I had to admit a small part of me resented Edward's disappearance still.

I was struck by a sudden thought that instantly killed my good mood.

What had happened to Charlie, since I'd been gone?


	6. Hope

**Hope**

_A/N: Thanks for the awesometastic reviews! Happy authors update faster, so read, review, and make me happy!_

"What's happened to Charlie? What's he been told?" I asked Edward when he came back and told us the campers would be fine. 

Edward sighed, sinking onto the leather couch beside me. "He thinks you ran away, actually. I couldn't bear to tell him you died, and I had hoped you could get your bloodlust under control relatively soon so that you can go back and visit him."

I was confused. "Wait—I thought you told him I was sick."

Edward nodded. "Right—a few of us went camping when Carlisle went to town for more medicine, and the general theory is that, while you were delirious, you somehow managed to get out of bed and out of the house. There were many search parties around the house while you were changing, but thankfully no one was close enough to hear you screaming," Edward explained.

I was a little doubtful. "And everyone actually swallowed that story without a doubt?" I asked skeptically. "It sounds really hard to believe, to me." Edward handed me a newspaper dated almost a week old.

_**Delirious Patient Leaves Hospital, Eludes Searchers For Hours**_ read the headline. I skimmed over the article, feeling more and more assured.

A hospital patient that had come in with a very high fever had managed to rip out his IV and all the other monitoring equipment and left the hospital without anyone being the wiser. He was found a few hours later on a bus, still in a hospital gown, and brought back to the hospital. The article ended with a few doctors' stories of crazy things their delirious patients had done, like trying to fish in a swimming pool and insisting they were in a different time and place, reliving memories.

I wasn't quite satisfied, but if Charlie bought it and there hadn't been a fake funeral, then I guessed it was alright. "No one's asking questions as to why I haven't been found?" I asked.

"Not really. Of course, the La Push wolves know the truth and are going through the motions of helping. The dog says he's sorry for trying to help—did he really try to suck out the venom?" Edward asked, his face suddenly composed into a carefully blank look. 

I nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Edward stood so swiftly I barely caught the movement. "What was he thinking? Do you realize he is the main reason you're changed now? Carlisle might have been able to extract most of the venom had he not interfered! At most, you would probablyhave beensensitive to loud noises and bright lights!" he exploded.

"He was trying to help, Edward! If you were in his place, I'm sure you would have tried to help someone in pain like I was!" I said, trying to calm him down.

Edward shook his head, pacing. "No, I would know that wolf saliva only speeds the process, and I would have left you alone until someone that _could_ help arrived!" he thundered, a low growl forming in his chest.

Anger shot through me as I jumped to my feet. "Jacob was only trying to help, Edward! You know better than I do that he did not want me to change! Where were you when I was in danger, anyway? If anything, blame yourself. This is _your_ fault more than it is Jacob's!" I growled. I heard everyone else in the house either gasp or hold their breaths, and instantly I felt horribly guilty for what I'd said.

Edward stopped midstride, his body stiffening. I could practically feel the anger rolling off of him in waves, along with hurt and resentment. "You're right," he said softly, so softly I barely heard him.

"No," I said. "I shouldn't have said that. If I hadn't decided to jump off by myself, none of this would have happened. It's not your fault." Edward didn't say anything—he wouldn't face me, he wasn't moving, nothing. Guilt flooded through me. "You know what, I'm just going to go for a walk. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean it," I said.

"No. You stay here—I'll take a walk," he said, barring the doorway. "I'd rather you stay here, where the others can watch you. I'll be back later," he said, his perfect face crumpled in pain.

He left, shutting the bedroom door behind him. I closed my eyes in regret and hoped Edward didn't do anything stupid while he was out. I sat back down on the couch, and noticed he'd left his phone behind.

Perfect—I could call Jacob, and tell him it wasn't his fault. Maybe that would get rid of some of the guilt I was feeling.I dialed his number, and thankfully he answered, not Billy, on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Jacob, it's Bella," I said, a small smile forming on my face. 

"Bella, I'm so sorry! I should have just left your wounds alone—I thought I was being careful enough not to mix my spit with the venom—I'm so sorry!"

I had to smile as he kept apologizing profusely, nearing incoherence. "Jacob, hush. It's okay; I know you were just trying to help. Don't worry about making it up to me—you and the others took care of Victoria, and that's all I really could have asked for," I said.

"You sound… different." Jacob finally said after a long silence. "It's almost like you're singing,"

I laughed. "I know; it's really weird for me too. Listen, do you think we could still—you know… be friends? I know there's a whole vampire vs. werewolf thing going on, but I really don't have anything against you or the others there. You're all my friends," I said in a rush. "I don't want to get caught up in this whole supernatural battle, or whatever this is,"

Jacob hesitated. "I don't know, Bella," he answered finally. "I didn't make the rules, but if I could bend them I would. Especially because your… condition… is my fault. I'd have to see what Sam says—he would find out sooner or later if either one of us broke the treaty to meet up. And even then, I think you'd stink too much for me," he added with a chuckle.

"I still plan on showering every day," I shot back humorously. "Hopefully you do, too, and you dry off enough to avoid that wet dog smell!"

Jacob let out a short laugh that sounded more like a bark than anything. "Right," he hooted. "If we can meet up, do me a favor and roll around in something that actually smells good first!"

A worrying thought hit me. "Jacob—is it instinct to hate each other?" I asked. 

I heard him shift his weight and sigh into the phone. "I thought you knew that, Bella," he finally answered. "I mean, pending what Sam says—and your head bloodsucker, too—we might not be able to see each other for awhile. We're both pretty new at this, and I'm still adjusting. Hell, I almost changed when I saw Edward talking to Charlie, and I know he was just telling him you were sick, or whatever the story was before the runaway story came out."

I grimaced. "I suppose," I huffed. "Well, I'll ask Carlisle if he'd let me go to the treaty line with Emmett to hold me back in case I lose it, I guess, but I really can't see myself attacking you—you're my best friend."

"Okay. I'll see if Sam would mind—he's good at calming us all down," Jacob consented.

A thought struck me. "Oh! I might be able to make it easier on you—you know how some vampires have those extra gifts?" I asked.

"You've got one? What is it?" Jacob asked, sounding a little wary.

"I promise I won't use it against you—Alice said she thinks I can suppress my scent. That would help you stay human, right?" I asked, biting my lip.

Jacob breathed into the phone again, hurting my sensitive ears. "I guess it would," he agreed. "I have to go—we're doing some more runs to make sure the bloodsucker didn't have anyone following her," he said.

We hung up, and I couldn't help the wide grin breaking out over my face. I might be able to see Jacob! With that thought in mind, I turned to go downstairs and find Carlisle.

I heard footsteps approaching the door, and sat back instead to let whoever was coming up into the room.

Unexpectedly, it was Carlisle, with a kind expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said. "I couldn't help but overhear your part of the conversation. What would you like to talk to me about?"

I took a deep breath, and crossed my fingers. Even though I knew Carlisle was a compassionate person, I knew that what I was about to ask went against the very instincts vampires had.

It was still worth a try—if a vampire could suppress the thirst for human blood, they could suppress the instinct to fight a werewolf… 

Right?


	7. Extra Beauty

**Extra Beauty**

_A/N: Sorry, school got a little there for a bit! Let me know what you think--reviewers, you are AWESOME!_

"—So I figured that we could meet at the treaty line, and Emmett could come and hold me back if things got out of hand." I sat back and gauged Carlisle's expression. No good—it was carefully blank.

"Emmett certainly is the strongest," Carlisle mused. "I would feel better if Jasper went along as well, but if the pack leader has no problem with it, I don't see why you can't visit your friend."

I grinned widely and threw my arms around Carlisle, remembering at the last second to keep my arms loose because of my strength. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I said happily. "You don't think I'll lose it, though, do you?"

Carlisle frowned slightly, his forehead creasing as he thought over my question. "Alice believes you may be able to suppress your scent. If that's true, I'd rather you master that before you go and meet your friend. If not, then I'd suggest you wait a few months and let the worst of the bloodlust and sense sensitivity pass before you try," he suggested.

I smiled sheepishly. "I don't know what I did, honestly. I just remember smelling… _them_… and I wanted to get there without anyone knowing," I admitted, looking down at my hands in shame.

Carlisle chuckled. "Bella, it's hard for everyone. The only reason my record, so to speak, is so clean is because I consciously distanced myself from humans. I was so horrified at becoming what I am that I retreated to the wilderness that I knew no one traveled through—back then, those woods were thought to be haunted. It was the perfect place for me," he said, ducking to meet my eyes. "This is not your fault. We had hoped you would be given a choice, and that your change would occur under happier pretenses, but we have to make do with what we're given. We won't let you become a monster, Bella—I believe Edward would insist on moving to Antarctica if he thought you were such a great danger to humans,"

I smiled, a little giddy from relief. Carlisle seemed to think he'd said something wrong, judging by the look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Bella, you have to be sure this is okay with the pack leader. Not only that, you _must_ wait until the worst of the change's consequences have passed," he warned. "You can't—you _must not_—try to sneak out of here and go see your friend. We cannot and will not allow it, not until we're sure you have some measure of control over yourself."

I smiled again in relief. "Oh, is that all? I understand, Carlisle. It's just—I sort of thought I wouldn't be allowed," I admitted. "Even if Sam said it was fine, if Alice said nothing bad would happen, if I could become completely scentless—somehow I thought you would still say no."

Carlisle smiled kindly at me again, his expression reassuring. "Edward would only say no because he wants to protect you, Bella. Try not to judge him too harshly—he _is_ trying to loosen up." With that, he patted my hand and left.

I heard the front door open a second before Edward came back with a funny look on his face. "I had no idea you missed Jacob," he said stiffly. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I raised an eyebrow. "And risk making you angry? Besides, I've seen Jacob almost every day for a while now—of course I was going to miss him," I answered. "Would you mind if I visited him?"

Edward's lips tightened into a thin line, and his stance stiffened. Just as I thought—he wouldn't approve. "You just don't realize how dangerous a young werewolf really is, Bella. He could become overwhelmed with your scent and instinct would force him to phase and attack. I can't risk that happening to you," he explained, his voice tight.

I frowned. "I heard Alice say she thought I could suppress my scent, and Carlisle thinks that if that's true, I could train myself to suppress my scent so that he won't feel the urge to phase."

Edward's eyes suddenly softened as he trailed his fingertips over my cheek. Instead of the icy trail I was used to his fingers leaving, it was pleasantly warm. "You know I care about you," he said, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. He swept me into his arms, holding me close to him. My unneccesary breathing quickened as he threaded his fingers in my hair.

He kissed me.

I can't describe it in words—they just can't do it justice. His lips were exquisite, and my heightened senses picked up every detail I couldn't feel when I was human, exhilarating me. I deepened the kiss, and felt a little thrill when Edward complied.

I could have spent the rest of eternity that way, now that I didn't need to breathe. I tightened my hold on him, savoring every moment. _This _is definitely one of the perks of immortality.

"OUCH! Bella, let go!" Edward gasped. Startled, I sprang away from him, narrowly avoiding the cell phone resting on the floor. "You forget your strength," Edward said as he rubbed his midsection. "That's another thing you'll have to get under control before you can think of seeing that dog."

"You mean I can go?" I asked hopefully. He shot me an annoyed look.

"I don't know about that," he said sourly. "As much as I know you want to go, we'd have to be sure you weren't in any sort of danger. A young werewolf can be as unstable as a young vampire."

I tried my best to make my muddied eyes into big puppy eyes. "_Please_, Edward?"

Edward looked at me and frowned. "We're going to have to get you more… food. Your eyes still have red in them. I don't know about you going, yet, okay?"

I fluttered my eyelashes, feeling ridiculous. "At least say you'll think about it?"

Edward smiled at me goofily. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll think about it."

I smirked smugly to myself—this extra beauty was really paying off.


	8. Seal Hunting

**Seal Hunting**

_A/N:Sorry, sorry. Besides schoolwork multiplying like rabbits, I've been busy writing an original novel and--GASP--voting on AI! I've never watched that show before this season, either--I'm hooked. Anyway, read, review, you know the drill._

Two weeks later, we were in Denali to help make my transition easier on me. The wind in Forks was too heavily laden with the human scent., and although I'd gotten loads better at ignoring it, my horrific daydreams scared Alice, and she advised Edward to take me away until the worst of the sensitivity to smells had passed. We met Tanya and her family for a few minutes, before Edward's lips pressed into a thin line and he nearly shoved me out of the ornate home.

It was so weird walking out into a raging snowstorm and not feeling cold. The first time we got here, I pulled on a thick jacket out of habit and Edward had rolled around laughing at the expression of dumb disbelief on my face as I heated up quickly and shed the jacket outside.

"You don't feel the cold anymore, remember? And as a new vampire, your tissues are still full of human blood, so your body will be less susceptible to cold until it has all been used up," Edward explained, still chuckling as we were hunting for seal.

I heard one gently rubbing against the ice under my foot and punched through the ice easily, grabbing the terrified seal's tail and snapping its neck so that I wouldn't cause it unnecessary pain—even vampires have ethics and standards. "It's still weird," I grumbled, resenting the fact, yet again, I was the butt of a joke.

"You'll get used to it," Edward promised, before his lips twisted into a sardonic smile. "You'll have to—it's hard to die, you know," he said bitterly, deftly dodging the flecks of blood spraying from my feeding—I still had some problems with being graceful, unfortunately. But of course, like everything else, I'd "get used to it." I rolled my eyes at the thought—even the clinically dead aren't satisfied. This world really _was_ that cruel.

"I have to wait for _everything_," I whined, feeling the need to get it off my chest the "human" way. "It's not fair. I had to wait to be old enough for so much, then I had to wait to be turned because you insisted you wouldn't do it, _then_ I have to wait to _talk to Jacob_—may I remind you he's my best friend?—and I have to wait to get used to being a vampire!" I tossed the carcass into the hole in the ice, leaving the meat for a whale to get, and plopped onto the ice with my arms petulantly crossed over my chest. "When does the waiting _stop_?"

Edward's eyes flashed slightly, as if he was repressing an angry retort. I didn't care at the moment. Everything was just _so_ unjustified, as if the universe was picking on me for pure fun. "Bella," he ground out,"You just have to be patient. These things don't happen overnight—not even for vampires."

I reeled back at the sound of acidic venom dripping from his voice. What the hell did I do? Sure, I whined a little, but he was acting as though I'd completely offended him! Unbidden rage swelled inside of me and I shot to my feet.

"Fine," I shot back. "If you're just going to attack me instead of being _supportive_, then I'm leaving." I turned and ran across the ice, my vision obscured by the thick flakes of snow starting to fall. I could dimly hear Edward shouting behind me, but the distance I'd already put between us coupled with the roaring wind made his voice muffled so that I couldn't clearly hear him.

The melting snow around my eyes stuck like little icicles to my skin before melting and sliding away like replacement tears for the ones I could no longer shed.

"It helps if you think of humans as people when your thirst hits," Jasper had quietly explained to me not long after the failed attack on the campers. "They are people, with families that will miss them if they are gone. Brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers. They are people. You are not God. You don't get to decide who lives or dies. This is why you feed on animals—to let people keep the lives they live, whether it's a good or bad life." The conversation pounded through my head as I thought of everything I perceived as unfair that I had to endure. I couldn't even visit my own father yet, for fear of outright killing him—stupid bloodlust. I'd never appreciated how hard it was to Edward to be so close to me when I was human until now.

I could hear Edward's calls become suddenly more panicked. I almost stopped, confused, when I realized the source of his panic. I took another breath, stopping entirely in my tracks, and another. Then one more deep lungful—I knew that smell.

Human.

My stomach tightened as my mouth flooded with extra venom. My human nature warred with my vampiric one, as part of me readied for an attack and the rest of me tried to make myself move in the opposite direction.

Frantically I tried to remember what Jasper had said to me as the smell grew stronger, and gave it up as a bad job. So far I hadn't moved an inch.

I could only hope Edward caught me in time to keep me from doing anything I'd later regret.


	9. Talent

**Talent**

_A/N: WHOA DANG I'M SORRY! I could have sworn I posted this chapter last week... Nope. My bad! Forgive me, for in my finals-induced stupor I know not what I do! R&R!_

Before I could move an inch, Edward caught up to me and picked me up deftly, running swiftly in the other direction. I heaved a sigh of relief as the scent of human lessened, grateful that there would be no close calls for any human tonight. I buried my face into Edward's chest meekly, hearing the low growl forming there and resigning myself to a furious rage later on.

The twenty minute run home would have been pleasurable if Edward had said anything, but he didn't even glance at me, and he never let me down. Suddenly, I wished I could disappear. Edward started suddenly, and looked down at me.

"You _can_ suppress your scent. How did you do that?" he demanded, his eyes boring into mine. I shrugged as best as I could, my face still pressed into his chest, inhaling his scent to clear my bloodthirsty mind.

We got back to the house we were staying in without another word said between us. Edward put me down and paced to a nearby window, gazing out at the endless expanse of snow with a slightly disgusted look on his face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, sinking into a nearby chair. Never before had I hated Victoria more than I did right now… Victoria made me this way. My uncontrollable bloodlust drove Edward to the point of being disgusted with me, and I couldn't blame him—I was pretty disgusted with myself, too. The whole talk with Jasper had flown right out of my head as soon as I smelled humans, and I briefly considered running away from Edward and going to the North Pole so he wouldn't have to deal with me, and the worst thing that could happen would be coming across a team of explorers.

Edward whipped around and his amber eyes bore into mine. "What are you thinking about? You supressed it completely that time," he demanded.

I could feel the familiar tightening of my chest, but forced myself to calm down—holding in sobs I couldn't release was a painful experience. Wearily, I answered, "Maybe I should go to the North Pole or something. Or you could lock me up in some kind of stronghold and let animals in for me every once in awhile. I don't know. I don't want to kill, but that's all I seem to want to do,"

His hardened eyes softened and he put a perfectly-sculpted arm around my hunched shoulders. "Oh, Bella," he whispered, the back of his hand grazing my cheek lovingly, "It's hard for everyone. Really. It takes time, sweetheart—you'll see.You'll be able to control yourself around humans in no time." He kissed the top of my head and left the room, heading upstairs.

I spied his cell phone on the table. "I'm going to call Jacob," I said conversationally, knowing he'd have no trouble hearing me. I didn't hear anything but his footsteps, so I picked up the phone and dialed Jacob's new cell phone.

"Hold on a second—Charlie's here," I heard a soft breathy voice say. I stayed perfectly quiet as I heard footsteps on the other line and a door. "Okay—hey, Bella. Sorry about that; I didn't want to accidentally say anything."

I smiled. "Hey, Jacob! Gosh, I missed talking to you! Is Charlie all right?"

"Umm… well, he'd definitely be in better shape if you were to turn up again, but he looks fine. He's sleeping and eating again; that's a plus. Forks and all the surrounding towns called off the search last week, but Charlie won't let them declare you legally dead—he keeps insisting that if something had happened, you'd have left evidence behind. I have to agree; you are pretty clumsy," Jacob teased.

I glared at the phone for a second. "Haha, very funny. And Mom? Have you heard anything?"

Jacob cleared his throat. "Yeah, I heard Charlie say she's been holding prayer and candlelight vigils in Florida for you. A lot of city people are starting to debate how much security hospitals should have to keep patients in. You're causing a lot of reform, actually. What are you going to do when you get back? You're not going to age, and you're going to be in the media's eye for awhile, I'm sure."

I grimaced. "I don't know. At least I'm not so clumsy anymore—I suppose I could pretend to go off to college and only stay in Forks for a few months." Oh man, I hadn't thought _any_ of this out. I resolved to ask Edward for his ideas as soon as I got off the phone.

As if my thoughts had summoned him, Edward appeared in front of me clad only in a pair of boxers and a sultry smile on his perfect face. My heart would have exploded, I'm sure, if it could do anything! Jacob yammered on in my ear as I stared at my living—well, you know what I mean—Adonis.

"Say goodbye," he purred. I snapped the phone shut while Jacob prattled on and hungrily followed Edward up the stairs to the bedroom.

Jacob could wait.


	10. Werewolf, Meet Vampire

**Werewolf, Meet Vampire**

_A/N: My PC messed up and wouldn't let me see any of my document until JUST NOW. Sorry for the delay! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!_

I smiled widely, taking in a lungful of human-scented air through the car window and feeling exceptionally pleased with myself when I realized it wasn't so appetizing. While I would miss the complete privacy of the cabin in Alaska, it was great to be home!

I ached to see Charlie and ease his mind, but I couldn't yet—I could withstand the smell from a distance now that several months had passed, but Edward and I didn't want to risk anyone's life should my restraint end at that. Instead, I was coming home to visit Jacob.

Edward grudgingly half-smiled when he looked over and saw me bouncing on the seat with pure unadulterated joy radiating from me. I grinned back, feeling a little guilty that I couldn't control my happiness at finally seeing my best friend in front of my boyfriend, but shrugged it off—as he had pointed out(while trying to seem appropriately sad, but failing), Jacob and I were now natural enemies, so there was nothing to worry about. I frowned thinking of that conversation, but shrugged and shoved it out of my mind—I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of my happiness today!

"Excited, aren't you," Edward murmured rhetorically. I caught a flash of pain in his eyes and fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"At this point—no offense—I'd be this happy to see Jessica," I rebuked him gently. "I haven't seen anyone outside of you and Alice and Jasper in a long time, and even then the others couldn't visit often."

Edward grimaced at me before needlessly turning his attention back to the road. "That dog better mind his manners," he growled softly. "I'll tear him limb from limb if he doesn't."

I smirked. "Start flexing then, because Jacob's not all that tactful," I said jokingly, narrowing my eyes dangerously when Edward perked up at the thought.

Edward eased the car off the main road, taking a worn path into the forest carefully, watching for stray branches stretching into the path's way. The quiet purr of the engine faded into the background noise of numerous birds and wildlife scurrying through the forest as we stopped and got out, running the short distance into the forest to find a small meadow similar to the one where Edward had shown off his skin to meet Jacob in.

Edward stopped so suddenly I almost crashed into him, managing to step nimbly off to the side just in time. I looked around interestedly, comparing the layout of the small meadow to my "special" meadow and finding only a few things alike. Edward was tense, his eyes darting every which way and his nostrils flaring gently as he tried to locate Jacob.

I found a flat-topped rock to sit on and sank gratefully—I felt strangely lightheaded after running sometimes; Edward said it was probably an endurance thing. A shaft of sunlight shone on the rock just next to my hand, so I amused myself with watching my own skin sparkle as I drew my hand in and out of the ray of sun.

"He's on his way," Edward announced suddenly. "He should be here soon, he thinks." I nodded, fanning out my beautifully lustrous hair and smiling at him.

Edward caught my dreamy gaze and smiled back, his teeth gleaming even in the darkness of the forest. He walked over to me and crouched down, staring deep into my eyes. "I love you," he blurted out.

I grinned cheekily. "I love you too," I said, smiling coyly. My smile turned into a small smirk as Edward's eyes smoldered—oh, I loved to tease him!

I heard a faint snap in the distance, reverting my attention to the expanse of dense forest beyond the meadow. I saw a small russet-colored speck moving quickly—Jacob! I stood on the rock to get a better look, and Edward chuckled softly at my short stature.

I closed my eyes and thought of hiding. "It's gone, " Edward reassured me. "I can't smell you at all."

The wolf poked its head into the clearing warily. Edward slowly walked to the far side of the meadow to keep from spooking Jacob, and I walked cautiously towards him. The wolf caught sight of me and dropped its jaw, letting its pink tongue loll out carelessly. Jacob barked and in a flash, the wolf became my best friend, hesitating behind a large bush before bounding towards me with his arms wide open.

"Bella!" Jacob ran straight up to me, throwing his arms around me like he hadn't seen me in years, then recoiling immediately. "Wow, I forgot you're all known as the Cold Ones for a reason!" he said, rubbing his arms briskly.

I grimaced, trying very hard to deal with the wooden feeling of deflated lungs after getting the stench of wet dog stuck in my nose. "You smell funny," I said petulantly, rubbing my nose for effect. "Not breathing is uncomfortable."

Jacob smirked and stuck his tongue out rebelliously, reaching out for my hands. "Your cold hands are uncomfortable, and I'm dealing with it. 'Course, not having to smell you helps too," he said cheekily, dancing just out of reach when I tried to reach up and tousle his hair. "That cold skin probably makes you really slow," he teased.

I quirked an eyebrow, feeling my muscles become taut in response to his challenge. "Wanna bet? You can't count on me tripping anymore!" I said smugly, glad I brought a hairtie with me and I pulled it out of my face into a quick messy ponytail. I heard Edward chuckle behind me, and smirked at Jacob—I would probably beat him soundly.

"There's another clearing east of here, about three miles away—that'll be our finish line," Jacob said. "Give me a moment to phase and we'll have your boyfriend start us off." He jogged behind the bush again, appearing a few moments later as a wolf with the shorts he was wearing strapped to his 

back. I imagined I felt my cheeks burn when I realized why he hesitated behind the bush as he stood next to me, his monstrous size making me feel shorter than Alice.

"GO!" Edward shouted, and we were off. I flew nimbly through the underbrush before deciding to use the trees, jumping up into a strong evergreen and leaping from tree to tree, grinning at Jacob below as he growled in discontent. I glanced back, seeing Jacob's fur being buffeted by the small slipstream I was causing, and put on a burst of speed. A short growl behind me told me I was winning, when suddenly I ran out of available tree limbs and I jumped to the ground, running the few feet left to the middle of the clearing.

One minute I had the finish line in sight—the next, Jacob was standing there in human form(thankfully clothed). I stopped short, my feet grinding into the soft ground. "How did you do that?" I demanded, stretching my legs out so the sudden stop didn't force them to cramp up.

Jacob smiled. "We catch you, remember? Of course we're faster." He looked at me inquisitively as I glowered at him. "I saw something weird every time you were in sunlight. What was that?"

I didn't answer—I saw a sunlit area nearby and merely stepped into it, smiling sheepishly at his awestruck expression and making sure again that my smell was completely supressed as he inched closer. I tried hard not to giggle at his entranced expression, extending a hand so he could take a closer look.

His expression shifted to something I couldn't quite recognize. "This is unbelieveable," he whispered. "It's like you're made of crystal."

I stayed completely still, even when his light touch tickled. I was somewhat surprised Edward hadn't followed us here, but I shrugged it off—his eyes had been turning black for the past week, so I figured he was hunting small game to hold off the edge of the hunger.

"Pretty cool, huh?" I said, breaking the silence. I was careful not to breathe as he nodded, still completely entranced.

I heard his heartbeat speed up as he looked into my eyes. A wild, unfamiliar look in them rooted me to the ground—I couldn't move, try as I might, and part of me screamed at the unresponsive whole, telling me that Jacob might be THISCLOSE to phasing on me.

_So this is what deer feel like,_I thought irrationally as Jacob slowly yet deliberately closed the distance between us.


	11. Visiting the Cullens

**Visiting the Cullens**

_A/N: I've been swamped with summer courses and working on my original fic, so I've been having to push fics on the back burner. Unfortunately, with school starting soon, I won't be able to promise regular updates--but I will say I don't abandon fics without notice. That said, R&R!_

Jacob wrapped an arm around me and I stupidly squeezed my eyes shut, not even remembering I was certainly strong enough now to push him away. I felt his other arm snake around my waist and held my breath, slightly terrified.

Suddenly I felt something warm on my head, and giggled as I felt Jacob's nose snuffling in my hair. I grinned widely and tried not to shy away from the tickling breath on my scalp, relaxing enough to wrap my arms loosely around Jacob's waist.

"This is amazing," he said, loosening his grip on me and pulling back enough for me to see the easy smile on his face that I'd missed. "You don't stink at all—but I can't smell _you_ anymore," he added with a small pout. I rolled my eyes and felt a chuckle rumble in his chest as he let go and stepped back, an odd expression on his face.

I heard a soft crack of a dry twig about twenty yards away and felt a small wave of relief as Edward appeared in the small clearing, his irises tinged a light gold at the edges. I caught a flicker of a troubled expression on his face before it became relief.

I smiled widely and ran forward, pecking him lightly on the cheek. "Rabbits, dear?" I teased. He nodded and sighed slowly, pretending to eye the far-off landscape hungrily. I turned back to Jacob and smiled apologetically. "I'm so sorry, but we should get going—I miss the Cullens so much, and Esme and Carlisle were hardly ever able to come up to Alaska and visit."

Jacob shrugged, an angry look flitting across his face for a moment. I heard a soft growl I'd never have noticed with human ears rumble in his chest before he gave me a tight hug and strode off into the wilderness, his phasing sounding like a soft _whoosh_ to my supersensitive ears.

Edward led the way to the Cullen home, turning to smile at me several times while we sidestepped gnarled roots and low-hanging boughs. The magnificent home rose in front of us grandly, its columns looking startlingly whiter than ever–no doubt Esme had gone overboard cleaning house.

"Wow," I breathed, stopping where I was at in wonder. "I didn't know the columns could become that white!"

Edward smiled widely. "It's a tradition for Esme," he told me. "She'll love that you noticed."

I breathed in deeply, noticing the six distinctly different scents in the air, two of which were familiar. I bounded ahead eagerly, and Esme opened the door just as I reached it, a split-second before Edward did.

"It's so good to see you," she breathed into my ear as she hugged me tightly. "And it's such a relief to really be able to hug you!" She stepped back and laughed when I did, then moved to hug Edward as I stepped inside.

"Bella!" Emmett rushed in and hugged me tightly, laughing uproariously. "Good to finally have the unbreakable version!" I smiled widely and hugged him back.

"Hello, Bella," Alice said, smiling brightly at me and giving me a tight hug. "It's been a long three weeks," she said wistfully, referring to her last visit. I laughed and hugged her again, hugging Jasper as well as he walked into the room.

I heard the faint sound of a car engine passing by the driveway but paid it no mind—I was with my family! Esme led us into the living room, where we all claimed a seat either on the wraparound couch she'd just acquired or on the floor, chatting amicably. Surprisingly, Rosalie sat next to me, putting her warm hand on my arm and squeezing it reassuringly throughout the conversation. I turned to look at her, and she smiled gently, patting my hand before smoothing her hair and jumping into the conversation Edward and Carlisle were having.

"What do you think, Bella?" Edward asked me. "Would you like to go to London after you're completely in control of yourself?"

I grinned. "I'd love to!" I gushed. "I've always wanted to go to Europe!"

Alice reached across Edward and squeezed my hand excitedly. "We can go shopping together!" she said ecstatically. I rolled my eyes good-naturedly, making Emmett rumble with laughter.

_Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Lub-dub._

I stiffened, hearing the most wonderful sound in the world. The babble around me ceased to exist as I concentrated on the sound that was getting closer and closer, ignoring the purr of the car engine that went along with it.

Venom flooded my mouth just as I dimly registered Alice staring into the distance blankly. The engine came to a halt, then stopped entirely, just as the heartbeat sped up.

I stood and leaped for the door just as Edward turned and caught my ankle, dragging me backwards. I turned and snarled, angry growls ripping from my chest so threateningly I almost scared myself. "I want it!" I demanded, feeling my stomach constrict and my throat burn, yearning for the human walking up the front steps of the house—I could hear each movement clearly, making me ache for blood.

Edward set his lips into a thin, disapproving line and wrapped his arms securely around my waist, fleeing up the stairs into his old room just as the human knocked on the front door. He slammed the door shut just as I heard the human speak.

"Any news?" a tired voice said. I froze entirely, feeling completely digusted with myself. If Edward hadn't stopped me…

I'd have killed Charlie.


	12. Outburst

**Outburst**

_A/N: Sorry, sorry... I didn't mean for it to get neglected for so long! R&R!_

Edward stood in the doorway looking at me sternly as I paced back and forth. "Enough! This self-pity has to stop, Bella! It's been only a few months, you were changed against your will, AND the vampire who changed you wasn't above killing humans for food! How do you know that didn't influence you?" he shouted at me.

I quailed at the anger in his voice for a moment before anger flooded my veins, raging hot. "How can you expect me to be calm? I almost KILLED my own father two hours ago! How is that something I don't have control over?" I said hotly, my hands curling into fists.

"Damn, Bella! It was Victoria's nature to kill humans! It is GOING to be harder for you to overcome that aspect of your new nature! It's not all you!" Edward exploded, no longer bothering to keep his voice down.

My eyes narrowed angrily. I strode over to the window and flung it open, jumping down neatly as I hid my scent, taking off into the woods. I couldn't deal with Edward's insensitivity right now—I'd nearly killed my own father! How could I possibly be expected to be completely stoic about something so horrible? It was insane!

"Tactless idiot," I huffed, stopping my zig-zagged run and settling for stomping through the woods. I sniffed the air tentatively, making sure there was no trace of a human scent on the breeze. Satisfied, I found a fallen tree to sit on while I fumed. There was no sense in going back until I wasn't angry anymore… I'd only start sniping at Edward again, and I didn't want that.

A twig snapped in the distance just as I caught a whiff of wolf. "Jacob?" I called out, hoping I didn't run into Leah or Sam out here—I had no idea if I had crossed the treaty line, nor did I even have a vague idea of where it was.

"Bella? What are you doing out here?" Jacob asked, appearing shirtless from behind the thick bushes a few feet away from me.

I huffed. "Cooling down," I informed him. "Edward's good at putting me in a towering rage." I noticed Jacob's wrinkled nose and hid my scent again, unaware I'd let it go.

"Thanks," Jacob said gratefully, sinking onto the firm ground across from me. He bent a sapling and watched it spring back, doing that over and over. My heightened senses could hear the soft bark-like covering creak as it bent and regained its original shape. "What did he do this time?"

I sighed. "I practically went feral when I heard a human heartbeat outside the Cullens' house today. Edward caught me and restrained me in time, but then I heard the man's voice—it was Charlie," I said, my voice breaking on my father's name. "I freaked. I mean, that's a natural response, right? Edward told me to quit with the self-pity and basically told me I was an idiot for thinking I would be fine around a human," I said vehemently.

Jacob's eye widened in surprise at my tone. "I'd panic too, if I was a bloodsucker and nearly targeted my dad. When did that happen?"

I checked the watch my mom gave me years before and did the math. "About two and a half hours ago."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "And… when did you and Edward fight?"

"Thirty minutes ago or so. I got tired of yelling and left," I answered slowly, wondering where this conversation was going.

Jacob looked at me pityingly. "It was Victoria who bit you, Bella… Not Edward or the doctor," he said gently. "Isn't going to be a little harder to get over the whole not-killing-humans thing?"

I looked at him incredulously. "YOU TOO? This is just _typical_!" I hissed, stomping away from him.

Jacob scrambled to his feet and caught up to me. "What? I'm just asking! Maybe your resistance depends on how she used to feed! Doesn't that make any sense at all?"

"Well, yeah, but… You're rationalizing my attack on Charlie!" I said, refusing to look at him. Jacob stopped in his tracks.

"You attacked him? I thought you said Edward stopped you!" he said hysterically. "Where is he? Did you bite him?"

I turned and put my hand on his shoulder, drawing it away when he flinched and turned to look at me with bewildered eyes. "No… I didn't attack him. He didn't see me, and I didn't see him. I just… I _almost_ attacked him. What if Edward hadn't caught me? What if I didn't realize who I was going after until it was too late? And finally, what if I had broken the treaty? I don't want to be the reason the Cullens have to leave Forks!" I said, the words coming out in a rush.

"But none of that happened, Bella! It's okay! Charlie's okay, you're okay, everything is okay!" Jacob said earnestly, reminding me suddenly that despite his appearance, he was younger than me. He gave me a quick bear-hug and pulled away, rubbing his arms and chest to warm them back up again.

I smiled deviously at him, an idea forming in my head.

Jacob looked at me warily. "Oh shit… What are you thinking about?"

"Oh Jacob, I'm SAD!" I wailed, rushing forward and wrapping my arms securely around him. Jacob yelped and broke away from me, his skin completely covered in goosebumps.

"Dammit Bella! You're COLD!" he whined, stepping into a patch of sunlight and rubbing himself briskly.

"Give me hugs!" I said, ignoring his comment. He took off at a run, and I raced after him with my arms outstretched. "Come back Jacob! I need hugs!"

"Hell no! You'll give me frostbite!" he called over his shoulder as I gained ground on him. Finally, I leapt into a tree and onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "SHIT!" he exclaimed, tripping over a tree root. I grabbed a low-hanging bough and swung off him. I snatched at Jacob's shorts, not wanting to accidentally scratch him if I tried to catch him by his bare shoulder.

_RRRIIPP!_

Jacob fell to the ground naked, and I whirled around in the tree and covered my eyes, throwing the shorts down hurriedly when I realized I still had them in my hand. I caught a glimpse of bare butt before I had whirled, and a giggle escaped me. I heard Jacob stalk over and swipe something—his shorts, I assume—off the ground.

"Is it safe?" I asked meekly, unable to suppress another giggle. Jacob huffed.

"Yeah, you can look." I turned around to look at him and laughed when I saw the edges of his shorts tied in knots to try to keep it on. "Did you have to do that, Bella?"

I shrugged. "It was fun," I said, fighting a smile.

Jacob waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh, really now? You wanna go again? I'll make sure you get a good look this time," he said silkily, his smile growing as I got flustered.

I shook my head disbelievingly and jumped nimbly down from the tree. "Thanks for making me feel better, Jacob," I said gratefully, walking closer to him and smiling.

Jacob held the sides of his shorts and shrugged. "I didn't really do anything," he mumbled, embarrassed. I brought his chin up with a finger and smiled at him.

"Thank you," I said, trying to pour all of my gratitude into two simple words as I grinned.

Just as I caught a hint of Edward's scent, he was there. Jacob jumped and threw his hands up in the air like a thief caught by a cop. The knots on his shorts gave out and the torn fabric fell to his ankles. His hands flew down to cover himself and I felt myself come the closest to blushing I've been since my change.

Edward gave Jacob a significant look. "Something going on here, pup?"

I cringed. This didn't look good.


End file.
